Thursday, June 10, 2010

I'm being lame at the moment

This is not really an update on Mexico so much as a way for me to feel better, so if you aren't interested in the technical details of my sin/frustration with life/whining then you may not want to read this. That is A-OK.
I don't really know what happened. I try really hard to not think of my time as "my" time. Mejor en español, no?
Mi tiempo no es mío es de Dios
No sé por qué lo quiero como mío, porque no lo uso bien.
No me puedo controlar a veces. Me pongo celosísima con algunas cosas y de repente me siento muy humillada, avergonzada, por haber sido tan egoísta y tonta. Me quejé demasiado en frente de la banda, y no habría hecho eso. tampoco habría querido toda la atención. Es un equipo, una banda, no puedo cambiarlo en una cosa de mí mí mí...

Quizás es porque quiero más tiempo con Keila, quiero ser su amiga, quiero cantar con ella quiero compartir música con ella, todo eso, y cuando ella misma reconoce que soy pésima me desespero, porque si ella no cree en mi talento, me siento tomada por vencida. Pero no es así - Dios sí cree en mi talento, él me lo dio.

Tengo una conección con ella muy fuerte y profunda y cuando me siento que ella me falla, me pongo como deprimidísima...qué onda con eso? Me choca mucho esta actitud que tengo pero a la vez no quiero dormirme sin reparar las cosas entre nosotras.

Por favor, Dios, ayúdame en estas situaciones que me desesperan. Me choca esta actitud y depresión que tengo y no quiero ser así. La música me toca muy fuertemente y no quiero ser así. Jesús, por favor, ayúdame, yo creo que canté hoy mejor que nunca. Por favor Jesucristo que mañana cante mejor que hoy.

Dios, bendícelos a todos de la banda. Ayúdanos ensayar bien, y aprender uno del otro. Te adoro Dios mío, y te quiero seguir en todo. Amén.

Hola MaryBeth - te quiero :)

Pues, ya, me cansé de hablarme a mí y Dios me oye dondequiera que vaya, entonces voy a hablar con mi amigo y luego llamarle a Keila, para pedirle perdón por mis acciones tontas y que ella todavía siga mi amiguita.

Dios te amaré y te seguiré para siempre!

Monday, June 7, 2010




Thursday, June 3, 2010

June? Already? Wow!

Hey lovelies :)
Pat and I are doing well. We are in México still, hanging out mostly. Pat has gotten the hang of the bus system all by himself, which is a great thing! He comes over to the house where I live every day at around 10ish, and we hang out all day. He's getting better at Spanish. The other day (Monday) he spent all day making lists of verbs and stuff, and I think he really enjoyed it actually, haha. He's been working on math as well, which as fascinating as it seems, is really boring in my opinion, so I've been doing other things when he does that (like play facebook games or read).
I have looked into some of the Grad School programs that I wanted to check out (they're in my spreadsheet) and so I have narrowed down some options. I need to e-mail some of the professors I have at Eastern to ask them what programs I should look into, because they would actually know who the good people are. I want to study immigration/migration Sociology and though the best place ever would be Princeton (yay Doug Massey!!) I might be well off at UC Berkley or at University of Chicago, or something like that as well, I just need to make sure I find out from the right people. Pat and I need to take the GREs when we get back, and I already told my friend Sara that we could study for them together once we're back home. I am a little nervous about them, but at the same time, I know that God is going to work with what we've got and Pat and I are really putting our best into our academics so that we can get into the schools we want. I'm sure that we will get in somewhere, you know?
For anyone wondering, the plan is to get into the same grad school, or grad schools very close to each other, but if only Pat gets into the great school, then we'll go wherever that is. We still haven't figured out what might happen if the opposite is true, but we're discussing it. My education is subordinate to his, because I can be happy doing ministry (which doesn't require a Ph.D) and then once he's got his Professorship going then I can try and go back to school, even if just for a master's degree. This is all the back-up plan, though.
In other news, I started a small group for musicians where we're going to talk about Christian music and why Christians should be musicians and what the Bible says about music, and the history of Christian music, and stuff like that. I'm pretty excited about it, we're going to meet tomorrow evening and then have 2 more meetings talking about the contemporary Christian music and then the future of Christian music. I'm psyched to get to hear the opinions of some of the college students down here as far as music is concerned. There are some really amazing musicians here :)
Also, Pat and I are going to go to a worship night tonight led by some college kids that we know, and we're pretty pumped about that too. I'm seeing the network of ministries and how they sort of flow into each other, and that's how it's supposed to be, right? I think it's pretty cool.
Pat and I cooked all day on Tuesday for the youth group/college group (the ministry that I am an intern for) because we give free dinner for the meetings. We made sincronizadas (sync-cron-ee-SAH-dahs)which are two tortillas with mozzarella cheese and ham inside that you cook in a frying pan with butter. Served with them were pico de gallo (what we think of as salsa) and sour cream, it was really good. We also baked 60+ soft pretzels with cinnamon sugar on them, they were pretty fantastic if I do say so myself. The people were pretty impressed with them :D Even the culinary students that were helping us cook thought the pretzels were great :) :D That made me feel awesome haha. Pat did a wonderful job helping me, and even though we got frustrated a little bit, it was still really good (and who isn't going to get frustrated if they're cooking for 9 hours in a single hot kitchen?).

Well, I feel like that's the end of my update, Saturday night we have youth group, Friday night we have the small group, tonight we have the worship night. Sunday we have church in the morning and will (crosses fingers) spend the day with the Pastor's family because that's the only day they have time, and we love them, they're my Mexican family. Also, Pat seems to get along pretty darn well with them, so that's awesome :D - Really, everyone loves Pat, which is expected :)

During the day we are usually online for at least a little while, so should anyone need to talk to us, that would be a good time. I am usually on skype :)

Please be praying for us, that the ministry opportunities would keep presenting themselves and that we would be able to worship God with our actions and glorify him in all that we're doing here! Also pray that Pat gets better at Spanish :)


Friday, May 21, 2010

Day 9 - Mexico Take II

Hey all,
I don't know if any of you will actually be reading this, since it's summertime and everyone has something else to do, but I figured I would keep anyone up to date if they were interested.

It's day 9 here in Cholula. I got here on the 11th at 9pm. I took the Estrella Roja from Mexico City to Puebla. It wasn't too bad, although I had slept so much on the planes that I didn't really get to sleep on the bus. I got to see Liz that night (she left the next morning really early). That night I slept about 12 hours, it was insane. I was tired!!! Then the next morning I saw my friend Pedro, which was awesome! We ate breakfast (4 tacos for 10 pesos = less than 1 dollar) and got some juice at the new burrito place, which was fantastic. The juice doesn't have sugar in it! yay! And it's the best juice ever!! Strawberry Orange! It's so good! Half a liter for 14 pesos, which is a little more than a dollar! I love Mexico! Can you tell?

I've been doing pretty well on my diet so far, just eating meals and hardly ever snacking! I'm proud of myself, because I think I've actually lost weight, which is a very different outcome from the last time I was here (hi +12, I don't like you).

Anyway, basically when I got here it was the week of rest for the staff that I joined because the semester had JUST finished and pretty much all the students cleared off the campus. Next week (Monday) classes start again for summer school, and it varies from 5 to 7 weeks of classes. (Although it's funny, a bunch of people decided not to do summer classes because it would be during the world cup and they didn't want to have to choose schoolwork over soccer - gotta love mexico, right?) Anyway, so a bunch of people will be returning to campus this weekend, but since last weekend it has been a ghost town, like seriously, it's hilarious! I have been able to go to church and see my friends and pastor and everyone, which has been truly wonderful! I also had the opportunity to spend more time than ever with the staff of the ministry I am interning at. This is also great.

This past week and a half has just been really awesome for me because I have gotten to sit down and actually to think about everything that has happened over the past 6 months. There are a lot of unresolved issues that I have been trying to cope with and understand, and so this time has been really helpful to me so that I can actually do that. It also is so wonderful to have people around with whom I can talk and communicate (I'm mostly referring to the Americans who are around all the time with me - the ones I work for, but Mexicans too, although a lot of my friends are gone for now).

Something that has been a real blessing to me is to see how a ministry works. As many years as I have been in ministry I have never been so blessed by a ministry that lives what they believe. The people at El pozo ( or for English speakers - campus ministries) really know what they believe and strive to live it! I have not been part of a ministry that really wanted me to read my Bible everyday and if I didn't then I should not be ministering. I know that that sounds horrible, but I'm serious. This is really how it should be, and I'm so glad to have found somewhere where that's actually true. Same thing with my church here. I know how tired my pastor and his family are, but they read their Bibles and do their devotions regardless. Because they know in the morning when they get up they won't have anything to give unless they have been given their daily portion.

I am re-learning to be a Christian here, and to be a minister of the gospel. There have been multiple days where it's just been like, I feel like Becca - getting so excited about the gospel that I'm almost giggly and giddy all day long! I got so excited about the book of Mark the other day that Courtney (staff member) was just sort of confused on how to respond to me, like, that's cool, but wow, why'd you turn into such a girl?

I have been really, quite, blessed so far by this time to relax, do some reading, chill in the beautiful 80 degree weather, etc. It's just absolutely wonderful to see God like this everyday in everyone!

Thanks so much for supporting me, and praying for me!

I pray God's blessings upon all of you!!!

Love and God Bless,


Thursday, December 3, 2009

12 days and counting

It's pretty intense having so few days left. I'm missing people on both ends, anticipating seeing people I've missed desperately and at the same time anticipitating missing the people I've fallen in love with (platonically speaking, no worries, I'm still getting married in a year and 7 days - wow). I'm excited for the opportunity to work down here over the summer for like 7 weeks, and I can't express how glad that makes me feel to know that I'll be seeing these people again, because my church here, my ministry here, they're a new set of roots, really. It has been a really reallly fulfilling experience. I also think i'd be really really sad if these good-byes here and now were good-byes forever. I just don't know how I would deal with that. I don't think I could. Really, I never want to say goodbye forever, just see you later. Well, if that's not enough reason for a Christian to evangelize I guess there isn't one good enough.
In the mean time (which mean time is purposely ambiguous) I am staying up late and playing games with people and it's fun. I love playing games, until it's like 1:30 am (like it is now) and here I am typing a blog entry because I like the idea of telling people what's going on in my life.
My goal is to have finished my exam tomorrow (I'm going to work on it, I promise!!) I'm going to get up at 8 and start working on it, while also cleaning my room and doing laundry. I'm going to also read my Bible outside, because that is incredibly pleasant, I love sitting in the rose garden (it's huge and smells wonderful) and just enjoying life. (Wake up and smell the roses?) Then at 11 I'm going to eat breakfast with some friends, which is great, I love it. I'm going to eat potatoes with chorizo (an amazing kind of sausage) on a big tortilla with cheese and salsa verde and onions. It's incredibly yummy, for real. Then I'm going to come back and finish this exam, by gommit!! I will be done by tomorrow at 4:30pm!!
I'm not going to do anything else until I'm done! Then maybe I'll just go over to Casa verde and hang, or I'll take a nap, cause those are awesome!
Anyway, I'm really really tired, but I just wanted to catch up and tell you all that I love you so very much and I really appreciate that you read my blog and stay up to date with me.
I haven't put up pictures in awhile, but to be honest I haven't been taking very many. I'm gaining a ton of weight (why do I do that!?!) but I'm going on a strict pre-wedding diet as soon as I get home (maybe as a new years resolution because Christmas and my birthday require cheesecake and ginger snaps....oh man I'm a fat-kid) So yeah, I'll be ok. I'll go off sugar again asap.
I love you all! Thanks for your support while I'm here! I really appreciate it!

Love, tons of it. xoxoxo,

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving - Things I'm thankful for

My family
My church
My friends
THC (Templeton Honors College, not the active ingredient in marijuana...come on now...)
Emma (I miss having a warm puppy on my lap)
Being done with 25% of my classes! (PHEW!)
El Pozo
Good Food
Freedom of Speech
My grandparents
My brain
My professors
Cough syrup and tissues
Clean fresh water
Opportunities to minister and serve people
House (because that show is awesome and you know it)
And now I must get dressed because my exam is in 2 hours and I have a class before it!
Love you all, and I'm thankful for you!!!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The week of death

This week has been crazy and it's only going to get crazier tomorrow.
I haven't prepared at all (I mean not even a tiny eency bit) for my last Literature class of the semester tomorrow because it's almost 12:30 am and I am exhausted. Today Liz and I stayed in the house of the missionaries who are out of town (Liz is dog sitting) and we are still here right now, I kid you not I've been here 11 hours and I have not finished studying for my exam tomorrow in Interpreting. It's killing me. I have so much to know and I'm just getting discouraged and I just want to go to sleep, you know? I haven't slept much in quite awhile...because it's been a crazy life... Yep, I've had something due and last weekend I went to a wedding, and so yeah, I haven't had sleep.

In other news, I'm so sad to leave Cholula. I really love Puebla, I really love the people, I really just adore life here, and I love learning so much every day. Although, I also have a lot of happy things to look forward to when I go home.

I called and talked to Hunter, my best friend and virtual big brother today. It was so great. I couldn't have spent 49 minutes in a better way. It was so good to talk to him, he said he has been missing me the past couple weeks and it really felt good to hear him say that - just as a girl, your guy friends don't tell you that much, so it feels good to hear it. It was really good to talk to him, because I realized that it's a lot harder to start up friendships with the opposite sex from scratch, you know? It feels awkward and they think that if you're hanging around the guys it's because you're trying to look for trouble. In my case, it's because I don't totally get girls...but I'm doing better. I think I'm really learning how to be a friend to girls, it's just really hard. I don't get the incessant giggling thing (unless it's 2am, and then there is just no choice).

I've been missing people more lately, but more missing people from Puebla than anything else. I've known for awhile that I'm the type of person who deals with problems in a more anticipatory manner than in any other way, so basically I get upset before something "bad" happens or before a big change. But then, on the bright side, I am always ready to adjust quickly and jump right back into life after the change is made.

Really, I've been kind of regretting some of my choices with regards to with whom I've spent my most time while I've been here. I think I've been blinded by wanting the younger kids in youth group at church to think I'm cool, instead of just being a minister to the people at school who really need someone to care about them and listen. I hope I can at least change that a little bit in my last (less than) 3 weeks here, but *sigh* I think I'll just have to come back this summer or something.

I'm really going to miss my church here. I've gotten so close to the people and the band and the families and everyone, I'm just really sad to say good-bye to that. It's ok though, God is so good, He always provides.

In other news, I get to see Melissa McClellan this weekend, and that's totally awesome! She's going to be visiting Puebla and so I'm going to meet up with her and the two priests she's travelling with (Well, her last name is McClellan :p) and Liz will come with me and we're going to take them to eat an early lunch. It will be really cool, we're excited! The only thing is, we're meeting up with her at like before 12, and I don't know if there will be much open for lunch time at that hour (usually it's like 1 or 2 at the earliest that people eat lunch) but oh well, it will still be good to see a familiar face, you know? And it's been a long time since I saw her!!

Well, I am exhausted and totally forgot what I was going to say. If anyone wants anything from México, they better tell me before I head back home, so please let me know, anyone. I'll try and get some good recipes out of Abril (the intern who cooks for Casa Verde).

Anyway, I need to get to studying andd then sleeping. Liz and I have had a lot of late nights lately...

Good night guys. Lots of love and hugs,